Photograph taken at the 2008 Leadership Huntington Gala by Katheryn Laible
When Dee Thompson passed away, I regretted that I had never sat down with her to write a long form article like I sometimes do. Setting to work immediately, I soon had over 100 pages of rough notes and all I could do to write an introduction of what Dee meant to people, hardly beginning to touch on the extraordinary works she did as a mother, a dedicated layperson in her church, and a diverse advocate/educator/collaborator/leader/champion throughout the broader community that many knew her from.
I have since felt both compelled and painfully unqualified to write a much longer story about this truly extraordinary woman. Overwhelmed, I have neglected the task, Still, she haunts me. I feel no more qualified to begin to understand nor convey the full breadth of what she was about and endeavored to teach folks, but as days go by, I feel even more compelled to try.
I am deeply grateful for both blood and other kinds of family members who have offered their time and care to this project. Thank you. You can read the introduction I published a few years ago here, as well as a prelude to that here. What follows is an attempt at Chapter I. Chapter II may start far from the beginning, with Unity Day, which I warmly encourage you to attend.
Chapter 1 - How She Was
“Faithful. Steadfast. Immovable. Always abounding in the work,” reflected Reverend Larry B. Jennings of the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church of Huntington at her passing “Love and appreciation for this Warrior Queen, our greatest of appreciation. Thank you, God, for Dee Thompson; for her love, for her humility, for her courage, for her endurance, for her dedication, her hope, humor and wit and thank you, God, for Dolores Rose Thompson, God’s good and faithful servant.”
How She Was
Dolores Thompson stood about 5’3”, wielding a spirit big enough to fill just about any room. While she made no attempt to hide her genetics and, in fact, wore bright blond curls for all to see, most folks just assumed she was born as black as she was raised. Maybe they thought she was inspired by Etta James. Maybe she was!
What is certain is that she lived to be a fierce and loyal grandmother to the local African American community, members of whom chose to be her family and for whom she was forever grateful.
As an adopted child, she also held a special place in her heart for any who seemed in need.
She was certainly one of a kind. As the Reverand preached about this woman he held so dear, he marveled eloquently at the “unique features of a personality that would in time disarm all of us and win the favor of all who knew her.”
They were indeed marvelous!
There’s a video of Dolores Thompson’s 90th birthday posted on Facebook by her granddaughter, Kim.
While the occasion is most grand, the repartee between mother and daughter, Dee and the world is standard fare. Watching the video hearkens memories of meetings, events, and just day to day moments with Ms. Thompson. This is just how she was…
***
Sharp, focused and project driven, Dee had an exceptional dry wit that danced in her eyes as readily as it rolled off her tongue. Fierce in debate and ever unflappable, she commanded respect and was respectful herself, while able and willing to bring all down to Earth with her one-liners.
They were funny. They were searing. They were wise. Often, they were simple mantras:
“I like to see things get done.”
Toward this end, she ever determined to break it all down as simply as possible for any who would listen, often boiling things down to three main points. She did this, she’d tell you, because that was just about all she reckoned most folks could process. As one who was very clear on how precious time was, she encouraged all who worked with her to do the same: Get to the point. Make it clear. Keep it moving.
Oh, and pay attention, will you?
***
“Once you got over what I call the Dee scan,” said Jennings, “once you got over the look, once you got over the wagging finger. Once you got over the stare. Once you got over the ‘now what was that all about?!?’ Once you got past it, her presence always put you at ease.”
I’m not entirely sure how many ever managed to ‘get over all that.’ Heaven knows, most did their best to keep from summoning it. More than a few still quake at the thought of her.
Still, “If you didn’t love and respect her, you just didn’t know her that well,” said Kelly Smith, Director of Member Services for the Huntington Township Chamber of Commerce.
It was true.
Indeed, Dee had a remarkable talent for winning people over by getting under their skin; for molding people into something better by getting into their hearts. Perhaps it was that powerful wit she used to tie together her truth and love. Perhaps it was even more the apparent faith that drove her willingness to engage with people.
***
Many will say that Ms. Thompson didn’t so much tell you what to think or do, so much as bring you to reckon with your own soul. You didn’t have to agree with her, but you’d certainly come away knowing your own heart better.
Folks smiled knowingly as the Reverend spoke of the joy she brought in the same breath with which he testified to her “powerful way of teaching the facts of life,” how “she could have had her own show, if you will, on the Food Network because…she was quite a chef, she knew how to mix it up when she had to mix it up!”
…and when she did, it was most always in service to others and the greater good.
It's Not about Me. It's We.
She was smart, and she was wise. The reverend remembered familiar refrains, “you can’t do it all by yourself because you’re not meant to. You’re not supposed to, reflecting,” he said, a life model “built around WE and not around ME.”
Dolores Thompson was imperial in the best sense of the word. While her presence filled a room, her spirit was all about unity and collaboration; bringing people together and getting folks out of their silos. She did things her own way, that’s for sure, but she always had a sharp eye out to see what others were doing that seemed to be working. She would collaborate closely with any who seemed worth the trouble, and gave it her best to educate all around her.
Dee was a staunch supporter of the underdog and spent her life mentoring those around her. This included a particular focus on the young and less fortunate. She was SMART.
Smart enough to know she didn’t know everything. Principled enough to ever stand her ground. Flexible enough to shift her footing as she learned better. Stubborn enough to help folks remember she was human. Funny enough to help folks not take it all too seriously. Sincere enough to help folks remember what was important.
She wasn’t always right. You didn’t have to like her or agree with her. If you really knew her, tho, there wasn’t much else to do but love and respect her.
The preacher reflected, “We got the look we got the growl, but she would say something that resonated with me, she would say that, ‘you could come at me all that you want but just make sure that you come right.’ Full. Stop.”
Dee didn’t have to be right, even as in many deep and profound ways she usually was. Even when she was coming at you, even if she didn’t like you, even if she was mistaken herself, it was generally about getting you to get it together and see the light…
Many are grateful…
I know I am…
Where to Start?
When Dee passed, I went to write one of those long form articles I sometimes do, and really wished I’d done with her when there was time. Three days later, I had well over 100 pages of notes covering more diverse activities than I thought three people were capable of, and a goddess of a human being who was Mother first, deeply and broadly.
Mother, Grandmother to her own kids and most of the others for yards around, and in her church, and in her community. She was a keeper of light and a shepherd of men; a diehard Champion of her community.
Where to begin?!?
Stay tuned…
