PARTING WAYS doesn’t mean you can’t keep it together

Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash

Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences of a person’s life, impacting every member of the family. We are thankful for this guest submission that talks about the author’s professional passion for helping people find a better way to part company. 

This is the happiest time of the year and ironically one of the times that people are most likely to get divorced. Troubled couples often hope that the holidays will make everything better, and then ultimately when it doesn’t, it’s time to make a change.

Life is full of changes.  Some of them voluntary, some- not so much. So, here you find yourself…the decision to divorce has been made either by you, for you or together which is the best-case scenario. We have all heard horrendous war stories, we all know people who have experienced this nightmare or about to… breathe! You have options. And it’s called Collaborative Divorce. The fact that most people have never heard of this method of divorce is one reason we have generations of families who witness the unhealthy, adversarial litigation and very often continue this cycle in their own lives.

Most people have heard of mediation, however, with a mediator, there can be no legal advice and the lawyer who is mediating cannot advocate for either party. Collaborative divorce is a voluntary process that couples enter into with a signed participation agreement that they are agreeing not to litigate. Couples enter into the Collaborative process thereby eliminating the threat of Court and committing to align their interests to work out the structure of their family, finances, property and any other assets they have created during their marriage.

The Collaborative divorce process provides support for the couple so they take the lead in decision making, through respectful communication, with the assistance of the appropriate professionals, in a private, pressure free setting.  The team of professionals include an attorney for each spouse, a mental health professional and a financial advisor.

In the context of Collaborative divorce, the couple commit to finding a mutually beneficial solution as their highest priorities. The concepts of “winning or revenge” and “retribution” have no place in the collaborative process.  The hope of having a positive future co-parenting (if relevant) is often a primary motivation for entering this process.  This results in the creation of a new bi-nuclear family built upon a foundation of respect, incorporating a creative and realistic distribution of assets and a new way to live apart and divorced in harmony.

When couples who are getting divorced, find solutions that serve both parties, healing begins, successful co-parenting takes place and children can grow up to be emotionally secure and healthy adults.  Families benefit from the collaborative process, and engaging in a communicative and understanding process sometimes results in healthy reconciliation. Society as a whole reaps the benefits of this process, because people can divorce with dignity and respect, children learn how to have difficult conversations with positive outcomes and the process makes us whole, individually and as a family.

Collaborative Divorce needs to be the new norm and most people have never heard of it. Please help us and tell everyone you know who may be getting divorced, about this option. The only option that will help to sustain the nuclear families of the future. For more information, please visit us at
Kim Ciesinski

We Love Our Librarians! Nominating Helen Crosson

Helen Crosson

We are grateful to know great librarians. Recently, we’ve thoroughly enjoyed working with Ellen Druda, who is doing incredible things for the Coltrane Home Project. We also deeply appreciate Susan Goldberg, who’s known to have people who happen to stand next to her smiling, and who has built a library for Elwood. We were privileged to work with Michelle Lauer-Bader on crafting “Community Conversations,” and have caught her around town helping out Long Island Cares since her own retirement. Recently, we had the opportunity to nominate one for national recognition through the “I Love My Librarian” award. For that, we chose Helen Crosson, who we find embodies and amplifies the spirit of the American Library.

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Election Day Guidance from the Huntington League of Women Voters

To vote in the upcoming elections, you much get registered THIS WEEK! We are grateful to guest blogger, Judie Gorenstein of the Huntington League of Women Voters for this Election Day FAQ:Last month, we shared items we found on Gratitude and Kindness. Now, we touch on acts that naturally follow: Giving and Hope.

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Huntington Klaber Award Given for First Time Since 2015. Congratulations, Sheila Pariser!

Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash
2018 Klaber Award recipient Sheila Pariser
2018 Klaber Award recipient Sheila Pariser

Trudy here! I want folks to know about The Klaber Award and its latest recipient, Sheila Pariser. The award is given by the Huntington Township Chamber of Commerce. It honors long term dedication to the Town of Huntington, NY and is bestowed upon an individual, age 60 or older, who has spent more than 15 years building a record of distinguished and exceptional voluntary service to the community, including key leadership positions with diverse town-wide organizations. The award is not given every year. It was recently given for the first time since 2015, when I was honored to be selected!

The honor itself memorializes a prominent local architect named John Klaber. Born in 1884, Klaber did not make his home in Huntington until 1945. Despite the late start, he had a profound impact, endeavoring to both improve the quality of life and preserve the existing beauty and charm of his adopted community. In his 26 years as a Town resident, John served as Vice President of the Old Village Green and Vice President of the local chapter of the NAACP. He was a member of the Huntington Historical Society, Historical Sites Preservation Committee, Huntington Lions Club and the American Legion. Mr. Klaber continued to be an active member of the community until his passing in 1971 at the age of 87. At that time he was serving on the Huntington Township Chamber of Commerce’s Planning and Zoning, Human Resources, and Town and County Affairs Committees. Throughout, Klaber maintained a fascinating scrap book that was donated to the archives of the Town of Huntington in 2014.

This past August, I was pleased to join the Huntington Chamber of Commerce in celebrating the organization’s latest Klaber Award recipient, Sheila Pariser, who has been a volunteer on Long Island for 40 years. Sheila’s community endeavors began with becoming a Board Member of the Huntington Chapter of the American Red Cross in the late 1970s, where she served for five years. Since 1980 Ms. Pariser has been a member of Soroptimist International of Huntington (now Soroptimist International of Suffolk County), with roles including President, Vice President and Director. The organization has also honored her as a Woman of the Year.

In the 1980’s and 90’s Sheila served the Huntington Freedom Center (now Head Start), and volunteered at Huntington Hospital on Sundays.  From 2006-2011 she served on the Board of Managers of the Greens at Half Hollow, then as Secretary of the Homeowners Association in 2011. From 2012-2014, Pariser was Vice President of the Homeowners Association of the Greens in Melville. In 2013, she was appointed Chair of the Special Needs Committee for the Community. From 2016 to present, Ms. Pariser has been member of Condo 3 Board of the Greens in Melville. She has also been appointed Government Liaison for its Government Affairs and Public Relations Committee.

Since 2010 Ms. Pariser has volunteered for the Visiting Nurse Service and Hospice Center of Suffolk. Since 2015, she has been a Board Member of the Friends of Oheka, serving on their artistic scholarship selections committee.

Previous honorees of this award honoring Klaber’s spirit include:

Clayton F. Mugridge – 1973
Bryon Sammis – 1974
John Ficker – 1975
Richard E. Allen – 1976
Honorable Fred Munder – 1977
Jack Lee – 1979 Jane M. Sullivan – 1981
Robert Mitchell – 1984
Ruth F. Concoran – 1986
John Jazombek – 1988
John Staib – 1989
Quentin Sammis – 1991
Anthony Mastroianni – 1992
Walter Spilsbury – 1997
Arthur Goldstein – 1998
Vaughan Spilsbury – 1999
Mary C. Cary – 2000
Libby Hubbard – 2001
Clifford Starkins & Joy Squires – 2002
Duncan Elder – 2003
Kenneth A. Christensen & Eleanor Casey – 2004
Dolores Thompson – 2010
Robert Scheiner – 2014
Trudy Fitzsimmons – 2015
If you know someone who should be considered for this award in the future, please contact the Huntington Township Chamber of Commerce at 631-423-6100,

The Final Stretch – Grateful for Fairway Home Volunteers

Update! The home is complete and we got to witness it be given away on June 25, 2019! You can check out the Ultimate Feel-Good Story: Giving an LI Veteran a Home, and a more complete list of Many Many Thanks…

Our guest blogger this month is Rosemarie Kluepfel of the Fairway Foundation, who reflects on their efforts to serve Long Island Veterans though their “Purple Heat” campaign. A main project is a house that they are renovating and donating to a purple heart recipient. They are exceptionally grateful to the army of volunteers who have come together to make this happen. 

While the project is coming into it’s final stretch. THEY STILL REQUIRE PROFESSIONAL VOLUNTEERS WILLING TO HELP!!! This includes contractors to help with bathrooms, plumbers to do rough in and hook ups, and an electrician to wire up new kitchen lighting.  Know anyone who might help? Please advise*. Thanks!

Four years ago, a handful of Fairway Foundation Long Island volunteers wanted to follow the lead of some of their other branches to help local veterans. The project, now nearing completion, was to give a local Long Island veteran that had served post 9/11, had been honorably discharged, and was a Purple Heart recipient a mortgage free home.  After all, Long Island has one of the highest populations of veterans in the country. Why not help our local veterans first?

What those volunteers had not envisioned were the hurdles and setbacks that they would need to overcome in order to see the project through.  Broken promises, title encumbrances and other unforeseen obstacles led to some disappointment. However, the kindness of others, the generosity of the community, and the friendships and bonds forged made the experience incredibly uplifting. It was a reminder that the strength of one’s character is not tested on a calm day, but in the gusts of the winds.

With the funds raised over those 4 years through their Purple Heart campaign, a house was purchased. Today, renovations are well underway led by the Interior Design Society Long Island chapter.

We are exceptionally grateful to those actively participating in the program: 

Isabel and Dafna with donated items. Not pictured is Sandra, who was also there.

Dee Manicone, D. Manicone Design Assoc.
Lisa Aiello, Rich Designs
Isabel Melo, Isabel Interiors
Peggy Guerin, Designs by Peggy
Ruth Seidenberg, Ruth S. Interiors
Mary Nolte, Mary Nolte Designs
Dafna Adler, Interiors by Dafna Adler
Sandra Asdourian, Sandra Asdourian Interiors
Dean Camastro, Hansgrohe
Joe Calise, Sights n Sounds

Donations of Products or Services thus far:

Hansgrohe, all plumbing fixtures
Coastal Cabinets, kitchen cabinets
Plessers Appliances, kitchen appliances
Merri Interiors, bathroom vanities
Kravet fabrics, fabrics for all rooms
Eclectic Window Fashions – window treatments
ProSource – flooring for kitchen and mud room
Harry Katz carpet – carpet and tile
Cancos tile – tile for bathrooms
Peykar rugs – area rugs
Wendy Interiors – blinds
Sights n Sounds – security system
The Robert Allen Duralee group – sofa, cocktail table, ottoman
East End Interiors – dining room table
Symmetry Closets – closet systems
Van Wyck Hardware – drapery hardware
Debbie Viola – artwork
L.I Photo Gallery – artwork
Elements Lighting – lamps, tables, chairs
Sherwin Williams Paints – all paint
Cambria Stone – countertops
Hampton Appliance – TV
All County Millwork – bedroom dresser and night stands
Farmingville Masonry Supply – masonry for front entry
Corporate Transport – transport services
Riverhead Building Supply – sheetrock
Kolson Hardware – decorative hardware for kitchen
OMG Shower Doors — shower doors

Labor donations:


Sean – rough in plumbing
Pic Painting – all interior painting work
John Probst Contracting – kitchen installation, mud room floor
Dynomite Floors – wood floor refinishing
Straight Line Tile – tile installation
Maggio Environmental Services – carting
PSEG Veteran Employee Resource Group –landscaping
Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation – project overview
Brian Moraghan PE – house inspection
ZCI Woodworks – transport of cabinets
Anthony J. Mangiaracina, Attorney at Law – legal
Pyramid Title Agency – title services
Eclectic Window Fashions – drapery fabrication
Beyond Windows – drapery fabrication
And many more volunteers

These local merchants, designers, wholesalers, and tradesmen have joined forces to transform the modest 3 bedroom/ 2 bath ranch into a home worthy of its new owner; one who has sacrificed to serve his or her country.

Together, we are offering a profound way of saying, “Welcome Home Soldier, Welcome Home.”

Visit, email or call 631-881-5110 for more information on how to apply for the home or to volunteer.

Together We Can Make A Difference in the Life of a Veteran.






* Please note! By sharing your submission or feedback with Synchronicity, you give us the right to publish it on our website, in our newsletter, and elsewhere, and to edit your submission. Your submission must be your own original work, and you must provide your full name, email address and phone number. Any feedback, comments or suggestions you may provide regarding this website or our services is entirely voluntary and we will be free to use such feedback, comments or suggestions as we see fit and without any compensation or obligation to you. Thanks for understanding!

Shop Down Town — It’s Worth It!

Main St, Northport

Shopping on Main Street, Northport the other day was a terrific experience. This downtown has been a favorite of mine for many years. It has waterfront, history, a beautiful park, and lots of shops and restaurants. At the top of the road is The Engeman Theater, which imports Broadway talent to Long Island. I used to go to the 99 cent movies there. Raise your hand if you did, too.

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Gus Scutari: Syosset’s Humble Champion of Americanism

We read this over and over and learn something new each time — WWII Veteran, Memorial Day Parade Organizer, and ardent booster of continuing to endeavor to be a good American in all sorts of ways, Gus Scutari reflects on life.

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Down to Earth with the Synchronicity Network – Thanks for Great Resources!

Last updated July 3, 2020: Anxious to get our hands dirty, and eager to do it in the most helpful way possible, we reached out asking folks in the know for their recommendations for Earth-and-Local-Ecology Friendly Landscaping resources. We received great responses!

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